Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
