Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize