We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
