She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
