i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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