just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
