Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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