So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
being pregnant is like rehab
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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