did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
