just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
