do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
