big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
