Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize