also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
