If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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