So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
