is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
