1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize