Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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