Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just want nice things and good sex
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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