oh god the rape fog is back!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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