i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
