It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
