It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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