I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
