I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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