too bad you live with your parents still
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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