My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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