So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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