I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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