The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
