he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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