you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
