Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we're making bets on your personal life
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
