I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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