P.S. I can't hear my feet
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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