I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
