I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
