What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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