another moral hangover. fuck.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
