I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
