Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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