If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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