i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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