Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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