I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
