come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
