i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize