I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
