she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
