I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My vagina is very pro this idea
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
