i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
