I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
