No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
why do cheetos always look like penises
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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