dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
