Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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