We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
