Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize