i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
