I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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