I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
