No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
