yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize