Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
