My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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