Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
