Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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