Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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