I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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