No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
