hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
