p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
