Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
