You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just invented taco cereal.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
