1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
