Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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