I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I fill condoms, not promises.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
