So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
